Goals:
There is something to having a goal that drives a person. I can remember specific goals in different phases of my life. I think some people are naturally more driven than others, some simply more competitive. There is room for all types in this world, but there is something to be said for having a goal and how goals guide personal growth. I can look back in my life and see clear evidence of the difference having goals made in my life. As well, I can clearly see how my current goals are driving me right now. I thought I would write on the topic tonight in hopes that it may be of value or help someone that currently feels stuck where they are. I think a person's ability to lead others is directly related to how well they lead themselves. And it has been my conviction for years, that part of our ministry ought to be natural growth from demonstrating excellence in our work and personal lives, which in turn glorifies God. While knowing this is true, my personal story has been filled with grace, and my life continues to be sustained by grace. My story is one of chaos, only by the grace of God salvaged, not because I had goals, but because of what he had planned. But it is interesting seeing how God takes even the goals we set, and either changes them, or uses them for his glory. Here is a look into how he has done that with my story, showing me grace the entire way:
Where I Began:
I grew up in Bacliff Texas, a small town south of Houston, near the coast that is known for poverty and crime. My family lived in an old beat up trailer that had rotten particle board floors that were constantly giving way and opening up the the world below. I can still remember the smell of the soggy particle wood as it would break and crumble. There was no central heat or A.C., and I shared a room with my two sisters, one older and one younger. We had a box fan that was hung in our only bedroom window, which would draw in the wet, hot, south Texas air at night. I will save the details of all the crazy times growing up, but I'll just say I was told by my first grade teacher that I couldn't go to second grade because no teacher wanted me. I know she was just telling me the truth, but I can remember feeling like I just wished I could change. I would try so hard to be good, but my temper and overall lack of self-control saw me getting in fights, talking back to my teacher, destroying the classroom in a rage, or stealing from my teacher and classmates pretty much everyday.
When I was nine years old, my parents got a divorce, and it was really wild times. My Mom would end up in Michigan, and we would stay down in Houston. The crazy thing was that when my Dad was going back and forth between Houston and Detroit he ended up getting a job up there at a small engine repair shop. He did a house call one day and when he was leaving the lady asked him if he had a Bible. My Dad lied to her and told her that he did in fact have a Bible. He left the lady's house and felt convicted. He ended up going back the next day and telling her that he actually didn't have a Bible. She gave him an old cheap, black leather KJV. Little did he know, but that would be the beginning of our world completely changing, and little did I know, but my Dad was about to become someone drastically different, nearly overnight.
Maybe I will write a book one day that no one will read, and in it I will include more of the details from that crazy time in life, but what would happen next would be the beginning of a new life for our family of four as my Dad somehow managed to raise us three kids by himself with pretty much nothing. I would become a Christian later that year, and was baptized in December at a homeless shelter in Friendswood Texas called Son Light Mission. The change I saw in my father was incredible, and I wanted to know Jesus for myself. I too was changed, and often I reflect on those early years, they were simply wonderful, even though we had nothing, and there was certainly pain and sorrow that filled our hearts, Jesus was enough, and his grace changed everything...
Skip a lot of crazy stories and fast forward, to my teen years. I raced motocross seriously during my teen years, and it pretty much consumed my life. It absolutely became an idol, and something I had to walk away from for a time in my late teens, but I won't go into all the stories with that part of my life right now, but it was such a blessing to get to ride professionally for different ministries in my late teens and early twenties. But my point is I am thankful for the sport because it is my earliest memory of setting and working towards goals. I remember wining my first state championship and the feeling of all the hard work paying off. I remember being so thankful to travel all over the U.S. and Canada riding a dirt bike for a living, seeing places I only dreamed of from my room in our beat up trailer in Bacliff. But before I go into all of that, I want to tell about my unique school experience, which set the stage for where I am now.
Schools Part One:
I was taken out of school after the fifth grade, partially because my Dad didn't want us in the chaos anymore, and partially so that I could ride everyday. Looking back now it seems absolutely crazy! I didn't really do school work for years, as my dad was not really equipped to teach us, so we read a lot of books, but never did anything else with the state. My dad was convinced that everything we needed was in a book. I laugh now because I think he was right! My home is consumed with books, I sit right now surrounded by books, and I have more books on the way! I would read encyclopedias and the Bible as my main form of education growing up. Every year my dad would take my sisters and I to the homeschool store and let us pick out one book each. It was usually a math book. Perhaps my Dad would look at the price and decide if that was the best book or not for that year. I don’t really know. He did a great job trying to get us what we needed, honestly. Then we would take our three books up to the counter and my Dad would pull a small wad of cash out of his right front pocket and separate a few small bills from the wad, and complete the transaction.
I remember hating math at times because it was so hard trying to teach myself algebra and trigonometry. My step Mom moved in when I was fifteen, and she would check in on me with my school work. She was the first person I met that either knew how or was willing to help me with my school work. She thought me how to do basic algebra, for which I was very grateful! My grandpa on my dad's side would help from time to time, but I probably wasn't the best student, because I wouldn't get it and he would be frustrated with me, and I would be frustrated with him, so most of the time I just tried to figure it out on my own. But when it came time to graduate high school, I had a problem. I had not done any state required work, and pretty much had no choice but to get my G.E.D. I would ride my bicycle nearly twenty miles one way to the Barnes & Noble off highway 45 near Baybrook Mall. I would take notes in a spiral note pad, since I didn't have the money to buy the books. That became a regular routine, and I actually got a job at bike shop not far away from Barnes & Noble, so I rode my bike a minimum of 40 miles a day, rain or shine both to work and to study at Barnes & Noble. (I didn't get a car or my driver's license until I turned 18.)
I finally borrowed $100 from my grandpa on my step Mom's side to go take the G.E.D. and made arrangements to go down to College of the Mainland. That was a long ride on 146 from Bacliff to the COM in Texas City, but I wanted to be done with school! I found out that they had a free class you could take to get ready for the G.E.D., and so I signed up. My step Mom took me in her car the first day, so that was nice, but I rode my bike down there the other days. It was pretty funny, in that class it was mostly middle aged people, and kids who got kicked out of high school and then me, riding my bike there from Bacliff. I quickly made friends with the teacher, and started helping her teach the adults. I stopped going after about four days or so because I wasn't learning anything, and the ride there was adding about two hours a day to my ride to work, which was in Webster. Long story short, I sat for the test and passed that bad boy, I got a near perfect score in reading comprehension in the 99th percentile, but squeezed by on the math section barely above average with a 58th percentile. I didn't care, it was spring of 2003 and I was finished with school...
Get Out of Bacliff Part One:
I had set a goal, to get out of school and never look back. So at seventeen I was a free man! My next goal? Get out of Bacliff. There were really few options for me even with my freshly minted G.E.D. graciously awarded by the state of Texas. For whatever reason, I had no interest in going to college and the only thing I knew was dirt bikes, but I was poor, and no where near fast enough to make it racing as a professional, and that year was the same year that I had actually given it up to get my heart and mind right with God, as well as finish school. Looking back now, part of me wishes I would have started school right away, and then I just reflect on all the good years, and the things I learned along the way, I wouldn't change a thing. It would be six years later before I would start college.
Anyways, at seventeen, I had given my bikes back to the local shop that had been helping me, and I knew that racing wasn't likely going to be my way out, but I had always felt that God would somehow us dirt bikes in my life to serve him, and that is what happened. Dirt bikes would end up being my ticket out of Bacliff, and eventually what brought me to Oklahoma, but it wouldn't be through racing, it would be through freestyle. It would start with the youth group that I was a member of at the Rock church in Friendswood, and in the parking lot of the Greens-Point Mall in Houston, at a Festival Con-Dios in the fall of 2003...
