Practice Evangelism?
I remember reading a book when I was 17 called, "How to Share Jesus Without Fear" and I can remember really wanting to get good at having conversations about my faith with skeptics, but I was kind of afraid to. I really don't remember much about the book, but I do remember kind of being let down because I was expecting some quick easy things I could apply right away. I honestly can't say if I just missed them in the book or what, but I remember for years wanting to find some way to get better at sharing my faith because I knew it was something I struggled with. So, inspired by memories of those days I wanted to take a few moments and share three tips that really helped me get better at having conversations with skeptics, and genuinely engaging in evangelism because some people actually want to know, they want to wrestle with life's big questions, and I have learned that being prepared for those moments had little to do with the moment itself, but the months and years of preparation leading up to them. So here are three tips that I think are helpful, that I still intentionally practice in my own journey towards being a better evangelist/apologist.
1. Practice Listening
I think the number one skill in doing evangelism and apologetics is listening well enough to find out where the other person is, where they stand, and what might be their major hang up or concern. What question are they actually asking? Are they asking any question at all? This is such a critical skill. I remember in a critical listening class at Berklee College of Music our professor told us to never start adjusting anything in the mix until we spent time listening first. I remember how hard it was to not just start messing with EQ and effects until I had heard the whole song all the way through. But I learned that really good mixing and mastering engineers are good listeners first, knob turners only after they understood what really needed to happen to improve the mix.
The same is true in talking with people about spiritual matters. It is really important to start by taking time to actually understand where they are coming from. Allow them to be heard, and make sure that you actually listen to what they say rather than simply waiting for them to stop talking so that you can fire your silver bullet and stump them with your brilliant canned apologetic response. Listen to learn, and respond only after you actually have taken time to listen.
2. Ask Good Questions
I learned a very valuable lesson from Greg Koukl, and that is to ask good questions. Asking good questions is a critical skill in evangelism and apologetics. Asking to understand first and foremost, and then if needed, asking to lead. When we ask good questions we once again allow the other person to be heard, and it allows you to make sure that you actually understand what they are saying so that you can accurately respond without foolishly solving a problem they never presented, or unfairly representing their view. It is as easy as, "What would you say is your number one objection to Christianity?" "Why do you believe that to be true?" "What led you to that conclusion?" "What have you read on the topic?" "Would it be ok if I briefly explained why I believe there is good reason to believe...?" It really is that easy, but it really is important to make time for good respectful, yet thoughtful questions. Practice coming up with questions you would like to ask if you had the opportunity. Like anything, coming up with good questions takes practice.
Also, practice asking yourself hard questions. I remember over a decade ago I really got into practicing debating the ideas of skeptics at work while I was running a machine. One day I was really getting into my imaginary debate and I was making points expressively pacing the floor, talking to my self... I went full rain man. A co-worker saw me through a window and came over to ask me if I had lost my mind. I laughed, and then told him what I was actually doing. He still thought I was crazy, but he thought the points that I was debating were interesting and a good conversation came out of it. I recommend practicing interacting with questions, both those that you would like to ask, as well as those that would be worth anticipating that you can ask yourself and research before you engage anyone else out on the streets. Developing these skills is a game changer.
3. Pray, Look, Love
Third, we should always pray for opportunities and then look for them, and love the people we encounter no matter who they are. I think it is time we looked at the way we approach sharing our faith. Another way to say it is to think of praying and looking for a change in our own hearts before we look for Christ to change anyone else. Once we have prayed for and looked for change in our own hearts, ask, do I feel loved by God because I have tasted of his sweet mercy? If we are not examples of the mercy we preach, but feel like we need to earn his love through our performance, we need to rethink our understanding of the gospel.
We need to treat evangelism as something that naturally pours out of having had a real encounter with a God of mercy and grace, and all we want to do is tell people about the sweetness of life that he offers. We are not trying to sell a product, or win a debate. We are trying to see God move through our humble obedience to the call to share the good news of redemption carried out in love. When we pray for opportunities, we need to seek them out expecting God to bring people our way that need to hear of his love for them. And we are to be examples of that which we preach. We do not preach self-righteousness and good works, we preach grace and hope for the broken. We preach that God has made a way for messed up people like you and me... Jesus Christ came to save sinners. He justifies the ungodly... that is you and me. So before we share our faith with anyone, it is worth reflecting and asking, "Have I prayed for and expected this? Am I willing to love and serve this person? Or am I simply trying to prove my superiority and self-righteousness?" These questions are the questions I ask myself often, and I find them helpful in approaching difficult conversations with humility and grace, yet with boldness and confidence.
In summary, listen well, ask good questions, and everyday preach the gospel to yourself. Look for ways in which God continues the good work he began never taking for granted that he would choose to use some one as messed up as you I are to share his love with the world, but allowing it to lead us to pray for, look for, and love the people he brings our way. Blessings!
Rob